Friday, March 30, 2007

Heart of gold

I wrote this in November 2005:

"Some things that put a smile on my face:
Dunkin Donuts coffee
Egg tarts when they're hot
People arguing in Lebanese
Food joints that are open way after 11 p.m. when you're hungry
Craving for diner breakfast food
College students doing homework and hanging out in library at 2 a.m.
Older people who are young at heart
Water fountains"

Still true. Especially the college student part. I'm fortunate again to be in school and I treasure every minute I'm on campus. The intellectual discourse in and out of classrooms. The idealistic minds looking for justice and democracy. The protests. The naivete. People dancing in the hallway of K.K. Leung at 8 pm and the smell of their sweat. The water fountains. The high profile speakers being invited to speak. The late night gatherings outside of library. It all reminds me of the good old days of Cornell. The fact that I'm once again surrounded by impressionable young people and ostensibly profound discussions puts me at ease.

School is the polar opposite from the real world. The real world is full of deceit and lies and people doing terrible things to each other. If you do something stupid, you may even go to jail. And all those parking tickets too. The real world can still be fun if you have a positive mindset. But people lose interests there. They are not passionate about what they once longed for. They lose sight of the important things in life. And most of them have to take care of the cash business. Friends start to drift apart because of lack of time. Therefore, it's imperative to set your priorities straight.

Tomorrow is my last advocacy assessment. I must say I'll miss it. I must admit that I went from feeling indifferent about advovacy to really loving it now. I enjoy telling a story in front of a judge that shows my side's point-of-view. The last few advocacy exercises really made me realize I belong in the courtroom. I take great pleasure in the submission, leading the judge through the documents and cases, and presenting a clear and cogent argument. Most importantly, I've received quite positive comments from the assessors, and that really boosted my confidence. This shows how constructive comments can help a person grow. The key word here is "constructive," not "positive." I don't need praises all the time. I just need someone to acknowledge my effort. So I'll enjoy my one last presence at the High Court tomorrow. Hopefully, I'll be a frequent visitor when I start my practice in August.

Someone wrote me last year saying I'm "talented, smart and have a heart of gold." Well, needless to say, that was quite a compliment. I don't care if I'm talented or smart. I DO care if I have a heart of gold. I don't want to be remembered for my contributions to society. I just want to be remembered as being a nice person. And even THAT is hard sometimes.

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