Thursday, September 29, 2005

This is a critical week for me

Somehow this week is symbolic because just like what the jazz standard's title claims, "Everything happens to me." Without trying to recap what happened to me during the last few days, all I can say is, it's been a bumpy roller-coaster ride. Usually my one outlet is playing music at Cafe Toulouse on Saturday night. Even that was mysteriously closed and I had to let all my stress and anger out by running every day.

When everything's happening to you, you know you're living, or your life is being lived. Depending on how you look at it. It's only Thursday. I know all of you have your own stories to recount, your own challenges to face, and your own obstacles to overcome, but allow your humble writer here to ramble. I've been a little detached to my readers lately, often posting things that are less personal and more allegorical. One fear is that unwelcomed trespassers read my blog and paint me with a black brush (It's happened before - see some of my old posts). These days I've learned to draw a balance between keeping certain business to myself and letting some of my feelings known. It's been working. An exaggerated effect would resemble a "Curb Your Enthusiasm" episode when Larry David's just being too candid with his feelings and emotions. I'm close to that, but I'm not that blatant and shameless.

Anyway, many people release their emotions in different ways: playing music, running, and posting on bulletin boards. If someone says, "You should stop posting stuff on the bulletin board and really live your life and keep your business to yourself," you know they're personally offended or affected by your post. Maybe they are the very people who you accuse in your posts.

I know I'm jumping all over the place, but my main point is this: You've gotta have a support network. A female friend of mine's major support network is her group of homosexual Asian male friends. More power to her. My support network is global: I have friends all over the globe to boost my morale from time to time. However, my friends in DC are limited. They are truly dear to me, but they are very few and far between. I could go on and blame DC for being transitory and cold and aloof. But the point is: I find it hard to have people let me into their lives. Perhaps they already have a full and fulfilled life and having more person come in would mess up their meticulously organized schedule. I don't know.

Here I would like to welcome my two friends Justin and Ah Sir to the blogging world. It looks like Ah Sir has been a blogger for a long time. In this age of technology, you find comforting that your support network may come from the blogging community, especially when you have a global support network.

"Think globally. Act locally" is a pretty darn pretentious slogan. I say, "Have a global support network, but retain your local friends because at least you can meet them at Starbucks."

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