Friday, June 03, 2005

Miracles happen every day

You better believe it.

The past year has been a somewhat important one for me. I've learned to be good at a few things, including cleaning my bathroom floor and changing water at the water cooler. While my life is usually consumed by neurotic items such as credit card bills, car insurance statements, and junk mail from Safeway, I've started to save money so I can spend economically. Ebay turned out to be where I shop the most: I even purchased my yoga mat there.

As society becomes more technologically advanced, our troubles have also doubled. I know people who waste their brain cells trying to figure out whether they should buy a $500 couch from Anthropologie or a $475 chair from Ikea. The point is: If one of my boxes from the storage room disappeared, I wouldn't know what I was missing.

The last two weeks were a revelation to me. I always thought I understood it all, but it came little by little. I've often neglected the simple pleasure of life when pursuing the seemingly more grandiose purposes. A couple of pigeons are currently building a nest underneath a cupboard in my brother's deck. The wonderful afternoon I spent reminiscing my old times at Harvard Square. Attending my cousin's graduation in New Hampshire and actually encountering people who are genuinely kind and unpretentious. Watching Al Gore walk from the podium into his limo during my brother's graduation. It could be anything: a song, a memento, a ticket stub. It's those small moments when you realize the world just stops that remind you that you're living.

I'll be New England bound again next week. My rebirth is gradually happening. There is always somebody who drags you down when you attempt to return to the Chitlin Circuit, but then you realize a great actor like Paul Giamatti is underpaid for his impressive work in Cinderella Man, you know you're not alone.

For me, it's tough to balance between sticking to my principles and being a nice guy. The way that I stand up for myself may be seen as "arrogant" in the eyes of others. From time to time, I've learned to overcome others' criticisms on me. But I've yet to learn to stop criticizing others. It's part of my nature to be a perfectionist. It's not easy to finish every job in an art form, but it's worth a try. The happiest people in the world are both self-confident and don't mind if others truly suck. I just take things a bit more personally.

If you sleep particularly well at night, you're a step towards being fortunate. So rest your heart on a bed of lettuce and keep your fingers crossed.


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