Thursday, June 03, 2004


First thing first, seven days of Jamaica were more than enough. Lots of begging, bugging, bothering, and conning. The whole country was set up to rip off foreigners. It got annoying and old after four days. The all-inclusive option was designed to give you diarrhea. If someone starts playing "Three Little Birds" or "Buffalo Soldiers" in my face again, I'll punch him in the face.

If anything, the trip was a good laugh. The people staying at our resort were a wild bunch and we had nicknames for all of them, notably Charcoal, Michael J. Fox, The BB's, Randy Jackson (George) and his bird, EG and her bloke, and of course, numerous FT's falling out. Charcoal takes the cake for being our hero. He never leaves the resort, stays in the same chair to sunbathe, and drinks Real Rock for nourishment. The nickname Charcoal is a result of his countless days in the sun - He turned into charcoal. We also met some nice people: a couple of English couples, two young female doctors from London, Larry and his bird, etc.

The beach was nice. A couple of cab drivers were hilarious. We went to almost every night spot nightly. It was just like college - you see the same people every night and you run into the same people in the dining hall (or the resort's dining area). It was unreal. But all in all, the place was not for me. I was on vacation but I was never in peace. The bugging and scaming have to stop. Or else the word of mouth is just that Jamaica is not tourist friendly anymore - well, with one exception, if you are a single white female who wants to get your groove back, you can always go there to benefit the Jamaican steel industry. Now I know what it means when people tell me "I hang out with Jamaicans."

And if you hear me say "YAH MON," "Irie," or "No problem," just tell me to stop and remind me that I'm back to civilization!

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